Dirty Bombs in the Street and in the Bedroom

24 Season 8 Episode 10
1 a.m. to 2 a.m.
3.1.10

With the Academy Awards only a week away, it's fitting that we honor the brave men and women who use their acting abilities for justice, as opposed to making millions by playing one dimension characters one screen that earns them the right to be followed by TMZ.com.

The CTU drama crew has a long, prestigious history, and for tonight's episode, they spared no expense in tomfoolery and emotional emptiness. It was by far the greatest display of counter-terrorism chutzpah ever captured on film.

While others with simplistic minds may draw comparisons to Weekend at Bernie's or Driving Miss Daisy or any other film about someone carrying around corpse, they'll miss the subtle touches employed by the CTU drama crew to convey the rawest emotion in the human spectrum: fear.

For a second, the audience was truly captivated by the player Owen, who translated the look of "Oops I crapped my pants" with a stunning conviction that it would be hard pressed to find anyone who didn't think he had some extra baggage in his shorts.

And during the pivotal show-me-your-bomb scene, Owen elevated the reality of the moment with his stoic "No, show me" response to the flabbergasted bomb-vested opponent (who happens to be white. C'mon, do they get ALL the roles for the stage?).

So bravo Owen, you win in the 12 and under category for best frightened boy on television.



As for the best whimpering, that goes to Fahrad, the waste of a character who was apparently only brought on as an excuse to bring the CTU drama crew out of retirement. Other than that, he proved he had two other viable skills: whimpering into cell phones and getting shot in the street.

It was all in the name of spreading the news that the dirty rods were going to be used to make a dirty bomb that would go off all over the dirty mattress that was New York City. And the nuclear explosion would be so massive that no one would be able to have sex in dirty NYC apartments and alleys for the next 40 years.

So it's good that Daughter Hassan and her security boy lover have consummated their lame loveplot of crappiness with a late-night what-what as their people try frantically to find them. Though, thanks to all the moaning, Hassan's security detail should be able to locate them soon, especially since they have acute hearing through shut car doors.

You know what else they can hear through shut car doors? Pre-marital tension. Though some studies have found that couples who kill and bury their dead together have a better chance of "making it" when compared to their peers who just got married for the kids. So we're saying there's a chance for Starbuck and Cole...as long as they keep on dumping scum in random ponds.

Perhaps they should take a page out of the Bauer Book of Love to get their relationship on track.

Step 1: Tell girl she's unstable
Step 2: Role play
Step 3: Get stabbed by girl
Step 4: Break girl out of accusatory debrief
Step 5: Shame head of CTU to drop charges on girl
Step 6: Tell girl to wait for you in your apartment...naked

Through Bauer's six-step plan, anyone can get the crazy girl of their dreams, and possibly their old job back, which is important in today's weak economy. If it gets any worse, the CTU drama crew won't be able to participate in the annual Shakespeare in the Park with Guns event this summer, which would be a shame. Owen plays a really good Juliette.