Someday, my peace will come...24 Season 8 Episode 15-16
6 a.m. to 8 a.m.
4.5.10
After being a man of war and purveyor of western whores, President Hassan tried to do something no one thought possible. He tried to bring peace to a television show based on war, terror and violence. In the end, he paid the ultimate price after hearing a list of his alleged crimes, which included:
-being an infidel
-having too much hair
-spawning the most annoying daughter in 24 history
-trying to screw up the Slumdog Millionaire
-failing to negotiate a White Castle franchise for his country in the peace treat
The lesson? Never try. Or at the very least give pizza a chance as opposed to peace. Studies on the internet from the Institute of Wayward Facts suggest that 83 percent more people embrace the notion of $1 slice Thursdays as opposed to worldwide peace.
Instead, Hassan's life was taken in a secret backroom in an apartment inhabited by two human shields posing as a mother and her child.
How did we get to this conclusion that showed Bauer weeping at the cold corpse of Hassan? A calculated fuck-up orchestrated by White House officials, a CTU mole and a boy who loved his girlfriend so much that he was willing to forget about her whole felony past.
It was a spectacular display of shame on all accounts, save for Bubba Gump setting up a security detail that required people to ask his permission to leave the building. Apparently treating counterterrorist agents as 6-year-olds paid off.
And though his end goal was peace, Hassan eventually stepped into harm's way to protect the white women and children in Manhattan from being exposed to a dirty bomb. It's already enough they have to deal with MTV and a deluge of reality stars puking in the city's alleyways. A dirty bomb going off and spreading its dirtiness on the Upper West Side would have pushed the city to the edge, inspiring nightly re-enactments of the "Rowdy" Roddy Piper six-minute fight scene from They Live.
Thanks to Hassan that reality won't exist. In its place is a reality where supercop agents (a la Bauer) can steal whatever car they want and terrorists can use Bluetooth headsets and a cup of coffee to conduct kidnappings.
It's a world where the White House Chief of Being a Dick oversteps his boundaries and sacrifices a career (and possibly a life) for the good of the NYC elite, and where moles like Dana "The Strangler" Walsh find a better motive for terrorist other than money.
"Isn't it always?"
To borrow a phrase from Chief of Staff Rob "I'm here for the heart attack" Weiss: "Really? Reeealllly?"
We were led to believe that she had such reservations helping her ex-boyfriend Kevin score and it turns out she's the same...only her crimes of choice is treason and breaking hearts.
Poor Freddie Prinze Jr. He just wanted to know what love was...and now he knows. It's fraught with accusations, suspicion and pain. Happy Valentine's Day friendo.
It's ok though. CTU has a wellness center that assists agents who have been emotionally compromised. It consists of someone from upper management providing a long hard stare, squinting their eyes and saying, "Get over it."
The CTU wellness pledge may come in handy during "The Final Hours" of 24 (on television), which may allow us to forgive things such as Chloe figuring out where Hassan was located in the building from the way the sunlight hit his face during the grainy terrorist video (good guys have Cisco, bad guys have Skype) and Bauer playing the "If you're brown, get down!" game.
For now, we're all in the metaphorical Situation Room, watching the final scenes of 24 play out and waiting for an epic death or for a guy from Jersey with a ridiculous pair of abs. Either way, it's going to be creepy and weird, and despite some of the best efforts from some of the heroes of 24, there will still be some countries that still don't have access to pizza.
Great writeup as usual. The question I have is: what are the last 8 episodes for? Prezzie's dead and we've got the bomb. IRK agents dead too. Walsh and co. will be tried for treason. I could wrap this up in 20 minutes.
ReplyDeleteKalman, the Russians are probably behind the whole thing, so I assume it'll be Jack trying to catch them.
ReplyDeleteIt's the old 24 thing of layers of bad guys. Samir or whatever his name was was not the top bad guy.
here's a rough prediction for the rest of the season:
ReplyDeleteCTU soon discovers the Russian connection. But it's not that simple. This is the final season of 24. The writers must have been aware of this. The Bauer will uncover the conspiracy, but it will involve a lot of danger and gunfights. When they finally track it down, they find out that the Russians have headed a vast 24 conspiracy involving at least several previous seasons. The Bauer either dies in the final episode or is grievously wounded. I would lean towards dying, of course. At least one other regular from this season dies as well.
Hopefully Dana Walsh/Jennie/terrorist will not be part of the storyline, but given the way the season has gone, they'll probably find a way to work her back in somehow. Really, she should just rot in jail and fade away. So either she escapes or she somehow gives them useful information.
I could very well be way off, but this is my best guess at the moment.
I know I shouldn't think too much about this but it's killing me. Hassan's head of security thinks decapitation would make a good uTube video so he either:
ReplyDeletea) gives the security team the day off and ambushes him in the home country
or b) wait till he is in the UN, pay the Russian mafia hundreds of millions of dollars for enriched uranium, get Hassan's daughter to fall in love him so he can kidnap her, so he can let her escape with an EMP bomb headed to CTU, so he can get the uranium into NY with the help of the redneck criminal he has infiltrated into CTU, so he can give the US president the ultimatum, Hassan or NY? And when Hassan gives himself up they say thank you very much, a deals a deal, here are the nuclear rods??
I didn't think it was possible but I think the story line has plumbed new depths.